Holy Calamity

80s retro!

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 10:13:46 GMT

Today it is going to be in the mid-to-high 80s. Gross. So, it looks like it will be straight home from work and in to the AC.

Yesterday, one of the summer teachers at my school came in froma smoke break and said "I almost got shot."
She was in the driveway to our parking lot, near her car, and there was gunfire at the end of the drive way. She almost went to see if everyone was ok, but one of the building higher-ups was there and told her to go into the building.
There were two people shooting and neither one got hit, they were both picked up by police in minutes.

Also, the new G.I.Joe figures rule and I might get to go see the movie early!

Ok, off to work.

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:03:54 GMT

What have I been up to....
Ok, well, my mom and step-dad came to visit early last month. That was rather fun. Most notably we went on a whale watching boat. That was really cool. Bekah spotted a huge basking shark and the boat followed it for a while, it was a pretty amazing sight.

Then it was more running around trying to get Bekah ready for her trip to the Ukraine. We got all that done in time and she left on a Saturday morning. Understand, she had never really travelled anywhere before, so this was a prett big deal, she was pretty nervous. But, the morning of the trip, everything went well and she finally relaxed as we waited for boarding time to come. Finally it was time and I saw her through security and left...I sent my baby on her way!

And then she arrived in New York where they had her sit on the run way for more than 4 hours. 4 hours to just sit and stew on everything that could go wrong. That was pretty awful. Somehow, he made it.

And, though she hated the first ew days, she really did make it two whole weeks in teh former soviet union.

Back home..I just kinda sat around. I tried to be busy doing stuff, but mostly I was just bored. I think it helped having Molly here, because that meant that I had to do something. SOMETHING. I couldn't just stare at DVDs all day, I did have t take this dog for a walk and give her food.

But this is how we know that Bekah triumphed over her trip and became an awesome world traveler and potential Amazing Racer. The return flight, two weeks after the first, was delayed. So, upon arriving in New York she had missed her connecting flight to Boston. Uh oh! And then the airline had her wait for two hours in a line that she di not need to be in, so she also missed two possible later flights. And the next one out was on Sunday morning.

Screw that! She said, jumped in a gold mercedes, and went to China Twon where she hopped on the next China Town bus headed for home. She made it by midnight.

And as her would-have-been flight was warming up on teh runway, we were waking up and thinking about what to get for breakfast.

That was nice.

Also, in my last week of school for the semester, i found that I had three unused personal days that were about to evaporate. I was basically forced to take a 5 day wekend right before my week of semester break.

I have used the free time to start a new writing project on my new tiny lap top. I will tell you more about that later on.

Also, being the head editor for a G.I.Joe fan site has finally started to pay off. I got my first review/promo material the other day. The official, tricked out, release of the first season of cartons on DVD...three weeks before it hits stores!

Let the dominoes fall

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 00:35:33 GMT

LJ

Yesterday I took the day off of work so that Bekah and I could go get her the paperwork she needs to get her passport so that she can go to Kiev. That is in teh Ukraine and her company is based there, so they are sending her there for two weeks to learn stuff and to train the supporters there to thnk and act like americans.
She has never travelled that far or on her own and she is very nervous about it.
Anyway, it was an ordeal. One missing document meant we had to take the only two cabs in Fitchburg MA back and forth across town about three times. If you could have taken all of the frustrated WHERE-THE-HELL-ARE -THEY waiting that we did, and just lump it at the beginning or the end, then we would have had some nice time to relax. Instead we spent all that time watching our tiny window of opportunity getting thinner and thinner.
You can't go from riding in city cabs to riding in country cabs. It is like going from DSL to dial-up.
We had a little luck near the end and got done everything that we needed to get done out there. The rest can be handled from Boston.
When I got home there was a package waiting for me. But i didn't order anything! Really, I did, I had just forgotten about it. If you have never done that, I highly recomend it. It is like sending a surprise gift to your future self.
I pre-ordered the new Rancid album about a month ago. the album actually came out TODAY, but I got it in the mail YESTERDAY! When I put it on my Zune...the Zune software had no idea what it was, I guess because the album info has not been recorded into their database, or what have you. How cool is that? Plus i got a bunch of T-Shirts that i ordered.
The album is pretty good. It comes with an extra disks of many of the same songs re-recorded acousticly, a making-of DVD, three double sided posters, a set of Rancid guitar picks, and a T-shirt. This is a band that loves their fans.
Oh, and the songs are good, too. Same old Rancid, but also new and different. It seems that if you go far enough down PunkRock Street you arrive in Country. There is some kind of wierd continuum that someone smarter than me could chart between punk, raggae, hip-hop, rock, rock-a-billy, and country...and I think you could use this album to demonstrate most of it.

The rest of this week is going to be spent getting ready for when my mom comes to visit on Thursday.

Sun, 10 May 2009 20:23:39 GMT

My brother and I were in a competition to get my mom teh best Mother's Day gift.

He got her a grandson. Little Izak, born yesterday around 5pm.

He won, I guess. But I got her a digital frame for christmas.

Welcome to world little nephew.

Thu, 07 May 2009 01:50:01 GMT

LJ

Trying some new technology to do these. Mayb ei will be able to cram in some more writing time this way.
Ah crap, now I have a method by which to say some thing and nothing to say.
i think my brother is going to have that baby soon. Well, not HIM, but his girlfriend. I guess that is what she goes by..."Girlfriend".
Oh, here is something.
A few months agao a doctor told me that I should try to avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup. He said that it was bad for me. Shortly there after, micah told me that corn itself is very evil and secretly runs most of the world. So, I have been doing my best to cool it with the HFCS. And that Dr was pretty righyt-on. I feel way better without it...except that I can no longer drink soda. This is nightmarish.
Two weeks ago I went off the reservation and filled myself up a Pepsi at the fountain at the pizza shop i go to to read comics. It was amazing. It was so good...it was SO good. You forget, but....wow.
That night, in between bouts of suffering for my beverage loyalty I saw a commercial on TV for a brand new soda. And, like with the short-lived Coca-Cola:Black...I DIDN'T dream it! It was true!
Pepsi Throwback is Pepsi but with real sugar instead of HFCS! So, I can drink it without consequence! And I do! Without consequence or moderation.
If you love me, or even like me, or just know who I am...you should go buy some of this cola. I need for the whole cola industry to see that this new product is good and profitable.

Also, yesterday was Micah's birthday...so, Happy Birthday.

Lately

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 16:47:28 GMT

This is my week off of school.
It is really nice to just relax. Yesterday we took Molly to the vet to get her fixed. She is all drugged up and being cute about it. The people at the vet treat her like a princess. But they had to call us to come get her early because she woke up early and was whimpering every time they left her alone.

But she is good now.

Bekah got a new title at work. She is now the "International Head of Support" or something like that.

And...probably some other stuf too.
I want to go see my mom for her birthday, but I just can't find a good flight. I am still trying to figure something out for that. I wish those things were just easy and done. I hate all the checking and double checking.

On Easter, Bekah and I went out to her parents house for some food and stuff. We looked around in the old storage trailers on her property. Wierd stuff in there. We found some kind of cast iron bunny.

When innocent blood is spilled......

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 23:20:46 GMT

According to recent Marvel Comics, there are many ways to make a Ghost Rider.

I decided to give it a go this weekend using G.I.Joe parts, a few other random toys, and some secret ingredients.

Also, I hung around with Bekah, walked our dog, watched a dumb movie, and generally enjoyed myself.

Maybe the weekend seemed so nice because I was a bit sick on Wednesday, but went to work anyway. This made me really feel like staying home on Thursday. And it gave me the day to prepare for it. So, there was no worry about what was going on in my class while I was out.
Plus, with the extra time, Bekah was able to stay home with me.
Thursday was a a very nice day.
I was a little bit sick, but I spent the day just resting and drinking tea and being treated very well.
So, then it was just morning classes on Friday, free afternoon, and home again!
It was like having two weekends in a row.

Who watched the watchmen?

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 04:51:07 GMT

I did.
I bought tickets earlier in the week to a show that was early enough on Friday that we could see, not sleep through it, and get dinner afterwards.
Friday, at work, I was talking with Bekah online and she realized that if we made it to that movie we would not have time to make it home and let little Molly out. I thought that our roommate Flynn could let her out, but we did not want to rely on that, or obligate Flynn to have to stay home with our dog.
Ok, need to take care of the dog, but also need to see the movie.
So this is what we did.
I bought MORE tickets to a later show that was closer to out house. Then another ticket for Flynn, who had decided to join us.
For a total of 5 Watchmen tickets.
After work hurried to the train and skipped my usual meet-up with Bekah. I went straight down town and got a refund for the original set of tickets, and a candy bar from the drug store.
Then Bekah and met up at Davs Square and headed home to play with out dog.
We rested, ate cheese burgers, and headed out for the show.

It was fantastic.
Simply fantastic.
There were a few things that seemed oddly out of place. It really seems like the director cracked under the pressure of making such a good book into a movie.
All of the slip-ups are in places where the comic could not be translated to a movie. Left on his own, without the comic for direct guidance, he over compensated and it stood out as funny looking.
The music (there is no music in comics) and some of the action (there is no action in comics) seemed out of step with the rest of the movie.

The upsides of icy weather and viruses

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:35:08 GMT

It seems that my hotmail account has been compromised by a virus that really wants to tell all of my contacts about cheap electronics or imported medicine or something like that.
The upside is that people I actually want to hear from have started getting in touch with me. Writing me like "is this you?"
It is deeply insulting to think that they think I would actually sit there and type out THAT message to them, but it is still nice to hear from folks.
If you got one of those emails, or if you didn't, maybe you should write to me. Or call me.

Monday morning, my alarm radio went off at the usual morning time. The news guy said, in the first few seconds of the broadcast, that there were school closings in Boston. Moving as few muscles as possible, I turned on the TV and struggled to wake my eyes enough to read the closings.
Billerica, Brockton, Brookline....
And my vision was fading and burning in and out. I couldn't miss it...but what if I DID miss it?
Boston. It said boston.
And before it switched to whatever city was next, the TV was off and so was the radio and I was turning over to go back to sleep.
What a wonderful monday.
Bekah worked from home.
And we just hung out all day.
Her doing work. Me doing a little of this and some of that, but mostly just hanging around.
This was just about the best day ever created.

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 20:19:20 GMT

Yesterday was Flynn's birthday.
We are about to head over the hill into Union Square to get some delicious Mexican food and margaritas to celebrate.
Sounds like a nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Not good enough for you? Ok, how about this one that Bekah and I discovered a few weeks ago when we were spending a gift certificate that my sister had gotten for us.
Bekah was also taking me out for a special dinner because we could notgo down to NYC for the comic con and I was feeling sad about it.
This is the awesome fun that we discovered.
Get drunk on Long Island Iced Teas.
Go to Target.

The fun just HAPPENS from there.

"You there, Boy. What day is this?"

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 00:31:02 GMT

I had the scariest dream of my life last night.

In it, Bekah and I were in New York and we had placed our valuables in a green back-pack. Our phones and money and other stuff. I think there were passports in it as well.
Somehow, we mislaid this very important bag in a large crowded train or bus station.
I went to retrieve it and wound up being carried away by the crowd.
I could not yell for Bekah or get over to her.
Somehow i decided that it would just be best to go home and wait for her here.
Only when I got home did I realize what a terrible mistake I had made.
I had no idea where she was and I had no way to reach her. I didn't have my phone, so I couldn't even call anyone. She was no where that I could get to and I just felt powerless.
Worse, somehow our little dog Molly was missing too.
Gone somewhere in New York.
I knew that even if Bekah somehow found her way home, and even if she wasn't mad at me for leaving her there...that our dog was lost and we would never find her again.
Even if someone nice found her, we would never ever know what happened to her and we would miss her forever. And it was my fault.
Somehow I wound up dragging myself across the floor with my fingers and wailing over the mistake I had made.
And then I was in my empty bed.
And somehow i slowly became aware that I might be awake.
Some hint of unreality must have occurred to me because I had this crazy hope that maybe if looked to my left, maybe Bekah would be there and none of that terrible stuff would have happened.
And she was. She was there.
I really felt like Scrooge on Christmas morning.
All of those things I had seen didn't happen.
I have never been so happy to wake from a dream.
I woke Bekah up with hugs.

I have decided that I want to get a microchip for Molly.
And that I must always appreciate how good I have it.

This is what it is like to glimpse an elseworld.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:24:15 GMT

Last night I had a dream that my mom was Barak Obama.
I am sure this point has been made somewhere else on the internet, but I really think that it is about time that spell-checking software be updated to recognize the words "Barak" and "Obama".

Today on the bus I thought that this woman kept looking at me...adn I was like "Why is she looking at me?" and then I realized that it might be because my hat is a replica of Spider-Man's mask...so my head looks like Spider-Man. And then I thought...why don't MORE people look at me like that?

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 01:42:52 GMT

My little dog was sick today, but I think she is feeling better now.

I had to borrow a dollar from a co-worker today in order to break it into quarters in order to get the key to one of the lockers in the lobby area of my school.See, the lockers are coin operated, and I need to keep my phone in the lockers now because they are now strictly forbidden from the school uni because a teacher on another unit had her phone stolen a few weeks ago. When the kid got the phone, he used it to call a bomb-threat in to the building. Pretty clever actually. Not funny, but pretty funny.

I have been trying to discover new podcasts, so if you know of something interesting, let me know.

Also, I am learning more and more about how to make my own custom G.I.Joes. I am using the wrong paint, but still doing a pretty good job of it. I will post pictures when i finish my latest creation.

My previous one was an original creation. An IDF commando on loan to the G.I.Joe team for which I still need a code-name. Any suggestions?

and

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:20:54 GMT

It is surprisingly cold today.
Mostly because it does not look cold out.
Today was the first day back at school after a week off. The week was nice, but should have been longer. Some people talk about missing their jobs and stuff. Those people must be mental. I could go without work forever.
We had an abbreviated school day today because the hamburgers that were brought over from the kitchen for the kids to eat were not fully cooked, so the whole lunch had to be done over again. This was a nice little reprieve.

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:51:52 GMT

Though I think I have already forgotten....
I found out this morning who will be in the Superbowl and when it will be played.

I know that it is the Cardinals because I thought "A baseball team? Hah, good luck winning a FOOTBALL game!" stupid baseball players!

And I believe they are playing against The Steelers, also known as "The Ralph Pulaskis" (google it and you will see what mnemonic device I used to remember that one)

That is all.

Cause and Effect

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:37:02 GMT

Tuesday morning, Bekah and I were at the bus stop waiting to go to work when she almost passed out. Her blood sugar dropped and she started popping sugar pills, but they were not doing much good. She was nearly passing out and i did not know what to do. She kept saying that she woudl tell me if she was in danger....but how could she tell me if she was already in a coma.
I was very worried, but she felt well enough to make it down to Davis Square where we got some juice and stuff for her.
She said that she would go home.....where there was no one. Our dog cannot dial a phone. I called in to work and said that I needed to go home and care for my sick girlfriend.
The most important person in my life was just floating around on teh edge of consciousness and a coma.

And then Barak Obama took office.

Now Bekah is fine and we had cake to celebrate.

Since September, I have been using my English degree to teach science. Every day I just open up the book and teach the next few pages. I felt useless every day. Most of it was stuff so boring that I barely remembered it from high school. I didn't care about it and neither did the kids. Sometimes I would get to talk about strange science stuff, but not often.

Then, on Tuesday, Barak Obama took office.

On Wednesday we got a new Science teacher, and today I go back to teaching English.

For a while I have been looking for someone to take over my NYC table.

On Tuesday, Obama takes office.

On Wednesday someone contacted me about the table. We will see how that works out.

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 17:58:00 GMT

Barak Obama was just sworn in to office.

Catching up in the Rye

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:17:59 GMT

I finally, at this late point in my life, finished reading Catcher In The Rye. Everyone says what good book it is, and what a classic it is, and how it is universally loved and admired by edgy loners and assassins....but no one warned me how depressing it would be.

Wow. I wish there was a sequel or a post script that just said "someone helped that kid". I guess the frame in which it is written sort of implies that.....but not strongly enough.

In other depressing news, I am going to have to cancel my table at the New York City Comic Con. I just can;t afford it this year. That sucks, but I can roll with it. I hate letting people down, but I think people are pretty understanding about stuff like that...especially this year. I will be attending the con, and Bekah and I are working on a whole new strategy for capitalizing on our guerrilla mobility. Does anyone want a table at NYC? Do you know anyone who would like one? Going for cheap!

Otherwise, though, things are going very well. I have a small assortment of resolutions to make life better and better, and they seem to be working in a general way.

Bekah is doing very well, but her job needs to pay her more for all that she does for them. Molly is a very happy, smart, and timid dog. If all pit-bulls were as "aggressive" as her.....they would have a radically different reputation.

Ok, about 2 weeks ago I was making my first "custom" G.I.Joe figure by painting and modifying an existing figure. I had a pair of goggles around his neck, which I decided did not look good there. So, I popped his head off to remove them. This requires a bit of pressure, and when the head popped off, the pressure caused the goggles to fly off. And they vanished.

There was not enough pressure to really send them flying, and the floors are hard wood and teh desk was mostly clear. I really looked everywhere and those tiny goggles were just gone. Bekah and I watched very closely in the two times that room was swept since then. No goggles.

Two nights ago I was turning away from the desk to get up and go to bed...and at my feet... TINY GOGGLES! I picked them up and put them on the desk. No time to put them on anyone's head. But the desk was clear and empty, essentially nothing there but the goggles.

And that was the last I have seen of them.

With my time.....

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 17:03:10 GMT

I will post New Years stuff very soon.

With my time, I have been writing about G.I.Joe action figures for Jason's web site www.theterrordrome.com

Here is a sample:

Croc Master's membership in the Cobra organization tells us more about the peak of Cobra Commander's megalomania than it actually does about Croc Master himself. Cobra Commander's journey from disgruntled outsider, to terrorist leader, to cackling super-villain mirrors the journey from musician, to celebrity, to rock-star, and both can be plotted by observing the class and quality of one's entourage.

Before there was a Cobra to command, there was just a pyramid-scheme salesman with a grudge against the world. It is entirely possible that he could have even run into a young alligator wrestling entrepreneur whose card read “Guard Gators Inc.” and thought “this guy really has it together. Reptiles! What a great idea!” The two men might have shared a drink in some Ramada Inn lounge during a sales conference and talked about their world views. And maybe the would-be-Commander said something like “one day I am gonna have my own island, and I am going to make you my head of security!”. If they did talk, they talked as equals. Two young men facing the world. Outsiders. Dreamers.

Guard Gators was not a commercial success, and the man who would become Croc Master followed his own path through life. Cobra Commander's star, however, was rising. First, an actual legion to command. And, before too long, his first small entourage. Like with the performer's first taste of success, he gathers people who are useful to him. A successful producer, a great bass player. For Cobra Commander it was Major Bludd and Destro. One could lead his troops in the field and the other could supply them. These were relationships of convenience, each party clearly benefited from the other. Money, power, fear, respect, and notoriety.

As fame and success grow, so too does the entourage. Not yet out of ego, but rather from the expansion of duties. The entourage is now a thing unto itself and has its own needs. Earlier, the performer's only concern was the music, and the make-up of the entourage reflected that. But as he becomes a star, he can see that there are more factors to success and life at the top. Now he needs a super-model to be seen with, a publicist to gather the press, and a security team to keep them away. And, as Cobra Commander's needs grew more diverse well armed legions were no longer enough to suit him. He soon found use for saboteurs, ninjas, and dedicated intelligence officers.

The groups get bigger and bigger, and the members of the entourage get more diverse and more specific. They still mostly serve functions, but those functions are getting much more specialized. It is not enough to just have an agent. He now needs music representation, a film agent, a licensing attorney, and a literary agent just in case he decides to write a book. Each individual still, in theory performs a rational function, but the real reason they are there is because the central rock star figures he is rich enough that he can afford to have a full time pilot, just in case. And, plus, it looks cool. Enter Snow Serpents, Eels, Tele-Vipers, Crimson Guards, and Lampreys.

He starts to blur his ego with his crew, and he starts to value how the image of the people who hang around him reflects back on him. The problem, image wise, with an entourage full of guys who are there to do a job, is that it is no fun. It isn't cool anymore. And good center of a small, sycophantic, culture like this knows that he has to spice it up with some wierdos. He has to show that his crew can get things done, but he can also keep it edgy. He starts thinking he should be hanging out with David Bowie, or at least Criss Angel. There were probably lots of qualified applicants ready to lead the Crimson Guard, but there was only one set of creepy identical acrobats. People often wonder why someone like Cobra Commander would associate with the Dreadnoks. What function could the possibly serve. Maybe the occasionally run side errands, but the real reason the weren't shaved, showered,and crammed into a Viper suit is that they served a greater function, in the mind of Cobra Commander anyway. The lent the impression of “street cred”.

The longer our entourage centers walk this line between functionality and image, the more the line blurs. Are the hangers-on there to do something, or just look like they are doing something? Each individual still has SOME function, but they all serve the greater function of simply being an entourage, and the function of that entourage is simply to demonstrate how cool the central star is. It is proof of celebrity. Was it Cobra Commander who decided that Dr. Mindbender would look cooler with no shirt on? Because going topless with a monocle does not look cool, but you might look cool if you were the guy hangin' with the shirtless monocle guy.

Now, in the final stage of our progression, the ego out grows the work that created it. “The entourage, the fans, the armies, the Battle Android Troopers......all of them.....they are all here for ME” he reasons. This is when bands split up. Someone more dedicated to the music than the fame steps up and suggests they buckle down and get some work done. And the idea is laughed of “Work? Are you serious? I am ME!” Oddly enough, this voice-of-reason comes in the form of the clone-spawned emperor Serpentor. In denial, our rock star now surrounds himself with butt-kissers and yes-men. They pad his ego, take his money, and they fill the gaps left by former friends who remember when it used to be about the music, man. In deep denial, and losing his grip on what made him great, the central figure n longer seeks out those who will look good in the eyes of the press and the pubic. Instead, he seeks out those that will make him feel good. Addiction enablers, snake-oil holy-men, and losers that will cling to him despite his now rapidly descending status.

How can he ignore the obvious logic of Serpentor's words? How can he not take a long hard look at himself when upstart Iron Grenadiers are schooling his Viper's all over the globe? The rock star turns to Scientology or his crystal therapist. For Cobra Commander it is Raptor and Crystal Ball.

And that is when the phone rang at “Guard Gators Inc” Was it always Croc Master's green dream to leave the day-to-day behind and spend his days in tepid water training gators to attack on a sparsely populated volcanic island? Maybe. Or maybe pursuing whatever other dream he may have had left him in a position where he could not refuse a regular pay-check. No one knows why exactly he took it, but he took the job.

Was it Cobra Commander's madness, or his desperation for affirmation? I mean, was it like.....

Destro: Commander, I have new machine gun and missile platforms that would be ideal for island defense. They are equipped with....

Cobra Commander: Machine guns? Missiles? Are you nuts? Man, this ain't Machine Gun Island! You got expand your mind, man! Get outside the chrome! This is Cobra Island! We gotta get some alligators!

Destro: I see. Well, for that you may need to seek an alternative supplier.

Or was it more like

Tele-Viper: Sir, Destro has not returned any calls for the past three weeks, and we do need to establish some island security.

Cobra Commander: Destro? Who needs that stuck up jerk anyway? He thinks he so smart. He's not so smart! He thinks we can't do island security on our own? Gimme that tele-helmet. I know just the guy. Old buddy of mine trains real, live, alligators!

Did he honestly think that alligators were a good idea, or did he just think that Croc Master would not say No? For whatever the reason. That was the low point. That is exactly when Cobra Commander had driven away all the people who could help him.

Even if he never actually did any real good on Cobra Island, and even if he symbolizes the depths of Cobra Commander's megalomania, he still comes out as a darn cool action figure. It is like we are getting a glimpse of him through the Commander's eyes. A giant wall of a man in a jet-black mask with blood-red eyes. He can control his scaly hordes with a crack of his whip, but he knows enough to pack a revolver. This is a real cool dude. I mean who cares if Destro started his own solo project? Who cares when you are hanging with Croc Master.

He is taller and broader than almost any of the other 25th figures, with great articulation and detail. From the scale pattern on his vest to the removable air tank on his back, he looks impressive. Here is a man who despite having failed at social interaction, freak-show entertainment, and business enterprise, can still call him self “Master”. This is Croc Master. Because who needs bill collectors, and traffic lights, and restraining orders when you have miles and miles of twisting canals full of dark, reptilian, beasts? He may never understand why the world works the way it does, but he can damn-sure understand the hunger and death in those cold blooded eyes. It's simple, the way the world ought to work. The way his little slice of the world does work.

So, maybe it wasn't really the madness at the far end of the rock star journey that brought Croc Master to Cobra Island. Was Cobra Commander so far from his original dream of para-military world domination that he sought out nut-cases more cracked-up than himself so that no one would have a pedestal from which to judge him? Was he stocking a gallery of losers and dependents who would tell him he was great because they were so far below him and needed the few remaining scraps of his money and power? Maybe, almost certainly, that was the case with Raptor.

But maybe, just maybe, at his darkest moment Cobra Commander remembered those two dreamers in the dark hotel bar. Maybe he remembered the cold-blue beauty of his own dream. The way it looked to him before it got all messed up by ego, and pain. And maybe that's when he picked up the phone and dug that old “Guard Gators”card out of his wallet. In those dwindling days of his crumbling empire, maybe he realized that he could never reach his goals. They were never meant to be. It was that knowledge, deep within him all along, that drove him down his self-destructive ego spiral. Maybe he would never beat G.I.Joe or take over the world. Maybe those rumors were right. Destro was gone, not coming back, people were starting to take Cobra-La seriously. He could carry on, for years even. He had learned well enough to go through the motions over the years. But the dream, his dream, was gone. All of his wealth and power, all of his tanks and buzz-boars, could not make those dreams come true now. Even if, through some miracle, his armies did conquer the world that simple honest beauty of living your dream was gone.

Some would say that on Cobra Island, with its towering parapets, snake-cowled monoliths, and sprawling dungeons, Cobra Commander built nothing more than a monument to his own greed and hubris. And maybe he did. But maybe, in the shallow labyrinthine canals that stretch from one side of the island to the other, you will find that he built something more powerful than any Mass Device or Weather Dominator. In those twisting, watery, passages stocked with lurking death, Cobra Commander built one man a dream. A strange green dream that he once shared long ago when they both were younger men.

4 1/2 Flag Points

An open letter to Alltel Wireless

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:02:08 GMT

Dear Alltel, fix your advertising strategy.
First, if you are going to advertise, have a product or service to advertise. I have never seen an Alltel phone or store, nor have I ever met anyone who has had one of these phones. Seem slike your advertising dollars might be going to waste if there is nothing to actually buy.

Second, reconsider your ads. The recurring plot of the bleach-blond douche bag smuggly besting all of the geeks and nerds who represent the other phone companies...it just is not working. America loves geeks and nerds, and we hate smug A-holes. Oh, and we especially love geeks and nerds when it comes to our tiny high-tech devices. Why the hell would I trust a phone company that bashes on nerds? At least with the Mac/PC ads, the Mac guy looks like he could be smart. The message is "we are a little bit cooler than the nerds that work at other companies". That smug bastard doesn't even DO anything to best them...Again, at least the Mac guy justifies his alleged superiority. The Alltel guy is just better...because...Come on, everyone knows that nerds are losers. Losers lose, it is what they do! These ads remind me of the high school kids on some MTV real life show who are sitting there making fun of some struggling doofus thinking they are going to look hilarious and cool, not realizing that the editors are making them look like the assholes they are.
He doesn't need to EARN a triumph...no, they are NERDS!!
Again, really think about a technology company whose strategy is to distance itself from nerds and geeks.

Oh, and if you really must insist on going this route......please don't throw your money away by running these geek bashing ads on THE SCI-FI NETWORK!

Yule Tide

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:08:55 GMT

I am sure that you probably know that the holiday season is my favorite time of year. I love the weather and the good-will-toward-man and the x-mas movies and shows and all of that. I really buy into it and I dislike hearing people who are all cynical about it. If your christmas is too commercial, then stop being so commercial about it.

Anyway.
I had a lovely christmas here with my girl friend and my dog (the two prettiest girls I know). Bekah made a delicious pasta and we at from our new kitchen table. We had stockings for us and our roommate Flynn. The whole gift giving/recieving part was very nice. The gifts that I got for Bekah seemed to be very well received, as were the gifts hat she got for me.

There were some really great ones, but the few that especially stood out for me were the diorama supplies that she got me from a craft store. She knows that I want to make acrctic and desert scenes with G.I.Joes, and she got me supplies specifically for that purpose. This shows not only that she is aware of my hobby and interest, but that she knows about what I WANT to do....not just what she sees me doing. That really made me feel special and appreciated.

For Molly, we got one of those pet claw trimmers. Th next day I was in the other room and I heard Molly yelping in terror. I hav enever heard this yelp so I ran to see what was the matter. Bekah was holding her oin the couch and trying to trim her nails, but Molly was so afraid of the buzzing trimmer that she was barking and squirming away. I sat down and held Molly still, so that she could not see the trimmer. She still barked and thrashed at just the sound of it. Bekah and I both worried silently that this product might be avery bad one and that we might be hurting out dog. I held herstill just a little longer while Bekah firmly held her paw and went to work on the razor sharp nails.

Molly, with her head cradled against my chest.....fell asleep! She was SO terrified of the machine based on its SOUND that she tried to run away from us.....but when it was actually in use, she was so relaxed that she dozed off and let Bekah do every paw before she woke up. She is the biggest scaredy-dog in the world. Her other greatest fears include garbage cans and cardboard.

This is my very relaxing week off. I am really enjoying it. Give me a call or something!
Oh, and I hope that you had a very wonderful holiday and that you will have an even better new year.

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 12:53:54 GMT

Merry Christmas everybody.

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 02:36:07 GMT

I like christmas shopping. I like buying things for people. It's fun. I like seeing a thing and thinking that someone will like it, and then buying that thing for that person.
This is part of the reason why I have no money.
But, really, i don't care.
I know that I won't starve, and I won't lose my home...and before too long I won't be broke. All told, I would rather have gifts for people than money.
On that same subject.
I have recently been collecting lots of new G.I.Joes. I really like them, and I really like seeking them out. For the past few weeks, however, I have been in new Joe lock-out so that Bekah can have a chance to buy me gifts. That is a pretty neat thing for her to do, and it has been very difficult for me, but I can manage.
Yesterday, when we were out shopping, I dropped by The MensWarehouse and dropped off some G.I.Joes in the Toys For Tots box. The thing that made it feel really good was the fact that all of the other toys were cutesy toys for little kids. That is great for them, but what about the slightly older kids who want really cool toys? It felt really good to do that, and the sales people saw what I did and came out and thanked me. That was nice, too.
Go out and buy a toy and donate it to some kid. Not just any toy. Get a toy that you would have loved to have gotten when you were a kid.

Snow problem!

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 01:49:32 GMT

There is no school tomorrow because of the snow....which at the time of the declaration had not shown a single flake.

On the bus on the way home from the train station after work, I told some woman (from Detroit) that she was a "Monster Bitch", for which I got a cheerful volley of applause.

Boston is a great town.

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 00:56:06 GMT

Last week, on her birthday, Bekah had a big meting at work. It was with the heads of the departments and the important people from The Ukraine.

Everyone told her that she has been doing a wonderful job and that she was a really important part of the company. Then they gave her a promotion and a raise.

That was a pretty good day.